PyroGeekArt

Dear Berke,
Hello old friend, I'd normally in this part ask how you are doing but I have already found out. I realize we haven't talked in a long time but we never said we weren't friends. I did find you on facebook a few times and tried to friend you once but you declined so I didn't try again. Now that I think of it, you probably didn't realize who I was.  I should have sent a message but I believe I was in the hospital at the time and honestly don't remember to much. Do you remember the day we met? I do, like it was yesterday. I was working at that gas station.. do you remember? I was working a night shift alone and you sat with me all night and took me to breakfast that morning. That's how it all started. I wish I could remember the exact date, I do know it was 05 or 06. We went to Waffle House and then you took me home. You were stand offish about some things but so very kind and it showed no matter how hard you tried to hide it. Omg, do you remember Olive Garden with my mom.. lol that was an interesting dinner wasn't it? And going to Barns and Noble, I can't remember why we went just that we went. I think it was just to have something to do, life was so weird and confusing back then but I realize now that I really didn't know that much about you. I know you didn't want me to meet your family, I later understood why but for the life of me I don't know why you thought I couldn't handle something so petty. Or maybe you didn't want the drama that family can bring on.  I remember going to the mall with you and just goofing off, I believe it was your birthday or something and I wanted to do something nice so I bought this 300.00 dollar animi DVD set from from fye. You had wanted it for a while and told me how important it was to you so I bought it. I swear you treated it like a prized possession. I know I'm bringing up the past a lot and I'm sorry for that but honestly it's not completely my fault. You could have made some kind of effort to. Friendship is a two way street. Now as I lay here and cry your family is probably doing the same thing. You know the worst part is that you're gone but what makes it hard is that it's on news wed sites and the comments from people because they have not released your name it's like vultures to a corpse. "Let's get some more information so we can fight, gossip, and spread our ass hole no one really cares opinion to the whole world". There are some days where I flat out just hate people and there are days where I love them to. You told me something once, you said "don't come up with a permanent solution to a temporary problem" you know what, I really wish you would have taken your own advice. At least then there wouldn't be so much misery. It's bad enough in the world today without the good ones leaving like you did. It took them a while to figure it out you know. The police, a few days at least. Right now I'm in this weird limbo between sad and angry and if you were still here I'd punch you in the face for this shit. Why did it all just stop? Did you try? Was I worth anything? What about all the other people who love and care for you? Do they have worth? I went through this very same thing earlier this year and someone told me that when people do this they don't intend to hurt loved ones. They think the people in their life would be better off if they were not here. Well Berke, No one is better off with you gone. No One! The amount of guilt I feel for not having the money and not going to your funeral is tremendous but you know as well as I do that family comes first. I messaged your girl friend with my condolences today. She said thank you. I was hoping for more but she probably doesn't know what to say when a random stranger messages her with condolences for her boyfriend. I know I wouldn't so I don't know what I was expecting. I really hope you are in a better place, to think of you any other way just hurts to much. Me and Jackie had a good laugh and told each other stories about you. I accidentally spelled a word wrong and the way the it came out was funny. Anyway, I had to get all this out somewhere, somehow , so this is how I'm doing it. I hope that you know now that you're loved by a lot of people and I know I never told you (out of respect for you) but that includes me. You're loved my friend and you will never be forgotten. Love, me.

So it's been rough, life in general has been difficult and all because people make assumptions with out any proof, just their "I know you" opinions. In the last few days I have been accused of many things and it's driving me crazy. Even though I have not done any of these things  it really hurts when the people I care about make assumptions and atomically label me as something that I'm not. I will admit when I'm wrong or have done something wrong, I would never do anything to harm my family, and I wont tell you when you have hurt my feelings. I try not to dispense unsolicited advice but sometimes I don't think before I do it. Trying to be kind to everyone is where I live wether they are kind to me or not. I don't hate anyone and there are things I have been though that I would not wish on my worst enemy. Even though I don't always agree does not mean that I'm going to be petty or go to extremes. I am a huge supporter of many things including not putting labels on people. I have my opinions but so does everyone else so I just keep mine to my self unless I'm asked for them. I'm open to many things, like religions and LGBTQ, about the only  exception is sharing the radio in my car, which in the grand scheme of things really is not that big of a deal. Thats just how I work. Do me a favor if for no other reason than to not come off as a judgmental ass wipe, don't assume you know everything about someone. Most of the time we have just scratched the surface of a person and your never going to know everything. Learn form what you do know but don't think to much into it, you may never know whats hidden behind it.  

Please remember that what you say effects others. Im not big on these and I don't do them often but I had something happen that did bother me even though I let it go and made it not a big deal, it really was. I was in tears over something someone I cared about had said and it was not even aimed at me or about me but once something is said you can't take it back. You can't take the pain you cause with your words. The moral: be careful what you say and how you say it and be kind to each other, now more than ever. Thanks. 

I am no hippie but I truly believe that Peace and Love will cure a lot of the problems with our world so my goal is to write "Peace and Love" in every language listed in alphabetical order according to google translate. This is all the A's and B's. Please be kind to one another.

Peace and Love.
Vrede en liefde.
Paqe dhe dashuri.

I had something I needed to say, something I see a lot of and it really needs to stop. No more shaming/ hating on people for tracing. What needs to understood is that some of the greatest artist of all time learned to draw and paint by tracing. Tattoo artist trace an ink stencil out before putting it on your skin. Some of the most talented people I have ever met learned to do what they do by tracing. To shame someone else for tracing is to shame all art and artist including your self your art. I guarantee you that 99% of the artist on here have traced one or more things in their lifetime. Tracing or no tracing if that artist put effort into that piece and it means something to them, it is art. To tell anyone they are not an artist because they traced something is not encouraging an artist, its being an AS*Hole. It's like telling a young child that coloring inside the lines is stupid and shameful. So how about we stop pissing in our own cheerios and be nice to each other. We are all on here for the same reason, the art. No matter what kind of art it is, it is not anyones place to take a piss on someone else because of stupid, and most likely misguided assumptions. Tracing is learning, Not shameful or any other insult one can think of.